Gary dorking, surreal cartoon, absurd art

Gerald and Louella Get Dressed

Gary Dorking

Written in my head when getting out of the bath, then jotted down. Surreal gibberish of an eccentric upper class nature ( perhaps ).

Gerald and Louella get dressed.


“Oh to be a marsupial!” Screamed Gerald, wrapping himself around the notion like a cling film hamper.

“My breath would glow with security,” he mused, while skipping and dancing lightly across the ballroom floor.

“I would wear a fine bow upon my neck and a lawyer’s wig upon my head and-.”

“Please!” Screeched Louella, “I’ve had enough of this!” She wrenched herself from the rear end of the horse costume. “Half an hour I’ve been waiting for you to get in the front end and all you do is yelp on about marsupials!”

Her face screwed up like tin foil fresh from the fist of a wrestler, her legs bent, in several places that legs were not meant to bend, with rage.

“Oh try! He said, “try and understand!”

His smile was touching around the back of his head, his face dancing separate from his body in a whirling twister of gold dust and making its way up past the chandeliers to the cherubs that adorned the ceiling. They sneezed.

“I would wear a fine bow around my neck, a lawyer’s wig upon my head and a giant strawberry in my pouch! I would fly in a balloon of silk, filled with magic toad farts!”

“He’s not related to me!” Louella insisted to the cherubs. The cherubs were climbing out of their ornate plaster moldings and making their way across the ceiling, holding on to the various animals carved into it

“Oooh! Ouch! Oi, get off!” They shouted. The plaster monkey hurled a banana hitting a cherub and knocking it toward earth.” Aaaaaagh,”crunch! Louella broke its fall as yet another fell past her smashing on the ground.

One cherub remained, now swinging on the chandelier, waiting to greet Gerald’s face as it emerged spinning and whooping from the whirling cloud.

“If I could just,” the cherub strained, “just reach…” as Gerald’s face got within range the cherub managed to give it an almighty slap. The scream could be heard for miles and Gerald’s head circled and sped back to earth like a let go balloon.

“There! Now see where all that fuss got you!” Said Louella slapping Gerald’s face back on to his head.

“If I had had my balloon! Grizzled Gerald, “if I had my balloon I would have stayed up! I would have flown out onto the moors, over the trees! “

“Get in the front end of that horse Gerald please!! Enough is enough!”

“Yes, it is!” mused Gerald. “Whereas too much and not enough are not enough! But enough certainly is, as you so rightly say, enough!”

“Oh, I give up!” Louella announced, climbing in to the strawberry costume.

In a split-second Gerald was dressed as a wallaby

“Hop in! He said.”

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